“WE   H A V E   P O I P U S !”
By Mary Adams
copyright  1998

Download the entire We Have Poipus! Script (PDF)

Download the Scene 2 Audio File

NARRATOR: Now, everyone knew it was wrong to lie but no one said anything.

The boys never did get caught for smoking in the boy’s room.  And, so, VACUUM started smoking regularly with CRUISER and Snoz.  They got used to it so they didn’t cough.  After just a few short weeks, they were all hooked-hooked for life. MARBLES chose never to start smoking. The teachers continued to warn all the students about drugs and alcohol.  In the days to come, the students were asked to write about what they would like to do when they grow up.  Everyone had such wonderful dreams … well … almost everyone.

Scene II: Outside the school building

VENUS: “That was a good speaker we had today about career opportunities.  There are so many interesting jobs and things a person can do with their life!”

GREEN MEANIE: (Mockingly) “There are so many interesting things one can do with one’s life!”

PRUDENCE: “Yes, there is!  Myself, I’m going to be a teacher.  I love children and even though it’s a lot of work, I think teaching would really be fun!”

GREEN MEANIE: (Mockingly) “I’m going to be a teacher!”

VENUS: “I’m going to be a veterinarian.  I just love animals.  Either that, or a nurse.”

GREEN MEANIE: (Mockingly) “I’m going to be a veterinarian or maybe a nurse!”

PRUDENCE: “GREEN MEANIE!  What are you going to be?”

GREEN MEANIE: “Work?!!  Me, work!!  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!  I ain’t doing nothing!  Why should I work?”

LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “I’m going to join the service and learn to fly an airplane and then I’m going to become a commercial airline pilot. I’ll be able to go anywhere in the world and my family will be able to fly for free, too!”

VACUUM: “You’ll see me on TV because I’m going to be a professional football player!”

(Ellie enters the scene.)

(She is a puppet that looks like an elephant.)

GREEN MEANIE: “Look!  Here comes Ellie!  Ha!  Ha!  Look at that belly! “And that nose!  Ha!  Ha!”  “And those ears!  Ha!  Ha!”


ELLIE:  “Yes, I do have a big belly.  I like my jelly.  And I have a long nose.  That’s the way it goes!  But my ears … I use my ears to listen.  And, you should listen, too!  You should especially listen to what the teachers and other people are saying about drugs!  Well, I got to go!  I think I hear a jar of jelly calling for my belly!”

PRUDENCE: “You know, I like Ellie!”

VACUUM: “Even if she does have a big belly!”

VENUS: “And a long nose!”

LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “And big ears!”

GREEN MEANIE: “But that part about listening-forget it.  We’re too cool for that!  I’m out of here!”

PRUDENCE: “Hey, there’s MOUSETRAP!  My mom said we should stay away from him.  He does drugs.”

MOUSETRAP: “Hey, everybody!  What’s new?”

LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “New York-New Jersey-New Mexico ……..”

MOUSETRAP: “Ha!  Ha!  Very funny.  Hey, I got some good stuff here!  Want to try some weed?”

PRUDENCE: “No way-not me!  Drugs are not for me.  I’ve got to go.”
“I’m going to meet Charity and we’re going to work on our projects for the Science Fair.”

VACUUM: “I’ve got to go too!  I’m going to climb some trees and then I’m going to start building a treehouse!”

MOUSETRAP: “How about you, Snoz.  Want a drag?”

LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “Oh, I don’t know.”

MOUSETRAP: “It’s good weed.  It’ll make you feel good.”

VENUS: “I’ll try some.” (She breathes in and out)

LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “Here, let me try some too!” (He breathes in and out)

MOUSETRAP: “Pretty good, isn’t it.  Hey, meet me down at the park in a half hour and we’ll twist a few and you can try some crack and other stuff I have too.”

LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “Hey, what’s that thumping sound I hear?”

VENUS: “I hear a ticking sound too!  It’s Father Time and his clock!”

MOUSETRAP: “Come on let’s go!”

VACUUM: “Let’s go!”

LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “Yeah!  We got to go!”

(Curtain closes – sounds of Tic Toc)