“WE H A V E P O I P U S !”
By Mary Adams
copyright 1998
Download the entire We Have Poipus! Script (PDF)
Intro and Scene I
Download the Intro & Scene 1 Audio File
NARRATORS:Hello! My Name is Shayla… Andmy name is Taneesha. We are students from the Youngstown City Schools.
What you are about to listen to is the soundtrack for the “We Have Poipus!” Puppet Show and we will be your narrators! “We Have Poipus!” is an original play for puppets which was written with much input from Youngstown students.
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(Curtains are closed-coughing sounds are heard)
NARRATORS:Do you hear coughing Taneesha?
Yes, I do Shayla.And look the curtains are opening and- OH NO!! It’s the boys lavatory at school and LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO and CRUISER are smoking cigarettes and are offering cigarettes to VACCUUM.
(Curtain Opens)
Scene I: The boys lavatory at school
LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “This is Great!”
CRUISER: “Want some smoke?”
VACUUM: “No, I don’t do that stuff! Smoking’s not good for you!”
CRUISER: “Ah, come on! Everyone’s doing it. It’s the cool thing to do!
VACUUM: “Oh, I don’t know … well, maybe I’ll just try it.”
CRUISER: “Yeah! Here … have one!”
VACUUM: (He breathes in and out of his mouth)
CRUISER: “No, you got to breath it all the way into your lungs! Like this ….”
(VACUUM breathes in and starts coughing)
CRUISER: “Yeah, that’s it-now you’re getting it!”
VACUUM: “Yeah, I think I’m getting it!”
CRUISER: “Hey, MARBLES! How about you? Want some smoke?”
MARBLES: “No way!” (Hestarts to leave and then comes back in) “Hey! Here comes our teacher, MR. WHEATBREAD.”
LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “Quick! Get rid of the cigarettes!”
(They flush them down the toilet)
(MR.WHEATBREAD enters the boys lav)
MR. WHEATBREAD: “I smell smoke!”
VACUUM: “Smoke! Yeah, uh, smoke! Do you smell smoke, MARBLES?”
MARBLES: “Yeah, it kinda smells like smoke, I guess, but I wouldn’t know!”
CRUISER: “Well, I know, and it is smoke and we were just getting ready to tell you about it, MR. WHEATBREAD. Weren’t we guys?”
LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO: “Uh, yeah! I mean, yeah! Yeah, that’s right!”
VACUUM: “Yeah, that’s right!”
CRUISER: “You see, this smoke was here when we came in!”
LEONARDO DA SNOZZIO & MARBLES: “Yeah, that’s it.”
(They look at each other and then at MR. WHEATBREAD)
VACUUM: “This smoke, if that’s what it is, was in here when we came in!”
MR. WHEATBREAD: “Well, I’m certainly glad it wasn’t you boys! Especially after we just finished talking about the dangers of smoking in health class.”
ALL TOGETHER: “Yes, MR. WHEATBREAD!”
MR. WHEATBREAD: “You know, smoking can destroy your heart and your lungs and your arteries and it can even cause you to lose your voice box or have a stroke.”
ALL TOGETHER: “Yes, MR. WHEATBREAD!”
MR. WHEATBREAD: “Well, I’m going to go and report this smoke in this bathroom to the principal and I certainly am glad it wasn’t you boys!”
(He leaves)
MARBLES: “Wow! That was close!”
CRUISER: “That sure was close! I would have gotten kicked out for sure for as much trouble as I’ve been in lately!”
VACUUM: “Hey!” (In a deep voice) “I’m certainly glad it wasn’t you boys!” (Ha! Ha! Ha!) “We sure fooled him!” (Ha! Ha!
Ha!)
CRUISER: “I think I need another cigarette.”
VACUUM: “Let me have one too!”
MARBLES: “Not me! I’ll never touch those things!”
(He leaves)
CRUISER: “OK, VACUUM, remember you got to breath deep. See if you can make the smoke come out of your nose.”
VACUUM: “I’m getting it! I’m getting it!”
(Sounds of coughing)
(The curtain closes)